An Open Letter.

How quickly the world has turned on its axis. Or perhaps more accurately ground to a halt. I hope you are all safe and well as you come to terms with what is happening around us, take stock and process it all. 

I’m not afraid to admit to share that I cried a small river the other evening as the frustration spilled out. Frustration felt by so many self-employed who have worked so hard to build their business and now face extraordinary times through no fault of our own. But I let it out in the knowledge that this is all a part of the process. 

I’ve been saying to clients that it can be helpful to recognise where we are on perhaps the biggest change curve many of us will have ever been on. It’s used for all sorts of change from loss/grief to organisational change and you’ll probably recognise the stages through your own experiences but I thought I’d share in case it was helpful to you too.

The first stage is shock and denial. This is the most short-lived stage and is where we cannot quite digest what is happening and the impact it will have. Our defence mechanisms kick in and we take time to absorb and process the information. We can get brain fog and feel unable to think or act clearly. Our thoughts cling to the past and how things used to be.

The second stage is anger. As the gravity of the situation settles in and reality becomes clearer we can become afraid of what lies ahead and feel very out of our comfort zone. We look for someone or something to blame and this anger can be manifested in many ways. While some take out the anger on themselves, others may direct it towards others around them. This too is a that this is just a natural reaction and with time, it shall pass away and make way for acceptance.

At stage three it is about bargaining. We understand the changes now and we work to try and find the best possible scenario for us to fit in and adapt in order to make the change work for us. We look for the best in the situation and we seek to minimise the impact on ourselves and find through compromise a better outcome.

Stage four is referred to as depression. Not clinically but having to adapt can result in low energy as things feel hard and sometimes a little hopeless. It may be hard to feel motivated or excited. We realise there is no way out of the situation and or easy fix and it can make you feel like giving up.

And finally we reach stage five - acceptance. When we realise that fighting the change that is happening is not going to make the challenge or sadness go away, we resign to the situation and accept it completely. It might not be a fully joyous moment but by not resisting change anymore we create energy and headspace for action. This is when we feel able to be more creative, try new things, spot other opportunities and generally exercise optimism more. There is some peace and we feel prepared for whatever has to follow next. We are able to think more clearly, make decisions and see a glimpse of an OK future, albeit different from before. 

I wonder where you are right now? For everyone travels this curve at different rates and will loop back through other stages many times. I am in this pool of change with you right now and it feels like a long way to go yet but we will all make it to the side, to acceptance and beyond. 

You are all in my thoughts right now and if anyone feels really stuck or lost, either from a business or mindset perspective then please get in touch. We are all in this together and I am happy to chat to anyone who needs support, anytime. I’ll also be sharing strategies and thoughts that I think might help us all from time to time on Instagram and Facebook but I am conscious not to add to what already feels like overwhelm right now.

Stay safe, sane and know that this moment in time is not forever (even if a week does feel like a year currently!)

Emma x